Comcast Sucks Ass

Comcast is the suckiest company ever.

These bastards owe me a credit of $190, and they've owed it since April of 2006. And now, they say it's been so long, they don't have records that far back.

WTF???

So now, I will use my blog to openly mock and ridicule them until they get their shit together. How ironic - I use the service they provide to take them down a notch. Kind of like making them eat their own poop. Or, kind of like beating a clown with his own big ass shoe (see, I wasn't kidding in that earlier post, was I?)

Back in June, 2005, I moved into an apartment and transferred service from my previous address. Then they overcharged me $15 a month for 10 months (until April, 2006), at which time I caught on to their shenanigans and called them out on it. To date, not dime one has been credited. So that's the first $150, but it gets better.

I am a pretty patient guy, so I only called them every few months to find out why I hadn't seen the ducats yet. Each time I was told it was "in the notes" and would be processed. And then one day, I come home to find my service disconnected. Apparently, the "notes" people don't get along with the "disconnect" people over there. It was probably because the "notes" people cracked on the "disconnects" mama by calling her a stank ass ho, but that's neither here nor there. I don't care if someone's mama is ho'in' - all I know is I can't watch Wheel of Fortune. Not only that, being $190 in the red, I can't even buy the vowels I need to solve the puzzle "C_mc_st S_cks _ss". Anyway, I called to bitch and they restored the service, but still didn't issue the credit.

And now, the service disconnection has become a monthly ritual. Every month, around the 22nd or so, they shut my service off. And every month, I call and waste 45 minutes chewing some $7/hour punk's ass. Until last month, when I was finally able to talk to a MANAGER. Finally, I thought, some resolution. He goes through my history and tells me the reasons my bills are always high is because I was charged for the "throw ins" I'd been offered whenever I'd threatened to cancel. So apparently, a peace offering at Comcast means charge people for services they never even asked for! So, he summons the managerial power granted to him by Comcast On High and throws me a bone - a $40 "instant credit" to get my service restored - and PRESTO, my service comes back on immediately.

So, today . . . . my service is disconnected again! So I look at my bill. Not only is the $150 credit not there, but neither is the $40 "instant credit". So I pop a Midol (this call occurs monthly now, like a period, so I thought it might take the edge off before I dialed the phone) and dial 1-800-COMCAST. Actually, I didn't dial it. It's on speed dial.

And now I know - the credit hasn't been issued because the "notes" don't go that far back on the system! (Oddly enough, they can still see that pay-per-view porn movie I "accidentally" ordered back in 2002 - go figure.) If I want that credit, I'm told, I have to go to my local Comcast office and "help them find it in the archives". Never mind that NO ONE I have ever talked to has been in my local office. If this information was on a sidewalk on a cold winter's morning, it would be steaming.

So I pay my bill (minus $190, of course, so they can shut me off again next month) to buy some time until I get back to town to visit the local office to do some prospectin' in the archives. But first, I am going to have some Taco Bell and a 6-pack of Pabst. And a Midol - goes without saying, doesn't it? And then, when I get there, I am going to ask to use the rest room. You mess with the bull, you get the horns. They can't find my credit, but I'll bet they know where the plunger is.

Here's the kicker - when I asked why the credit wasn't issued in the first place, I was told that a phone rep probably entered the note but that a manager never "approved" the transaction. So, a Comcast rep can offer the sun, moon, stars, and a night with the "disconnects" mama at a rate substantially below street value, but if the supervisor doesn't approve it later, it just disappears (cue "Dust In The Wind") like it never happened.

So, if they can't produce it, I am paying my next bill in person - with a sock full of quarters. Stay tuned . . .

I'm out-

KWass